By Joua Lee
What do you think of when you think of spring? Birds tweeting? Lilacs blooming on the side of the roads? The humming of a gardener as they trim the plants and tend to the landscapes of a home? For me, spring is a huge, transitional moment for growth, change, love, and youth.
It is a time to reminisce about your struggles and open up the deepest parts of your heart to new and unfamiliar feelings that are uncomfortable–but also quite healing. Calico, by Ryan Beatty, is a beautiful interpretation of that. It is an album of love, loss, vulnerability, growth, youth, and so so much more. It is the perfect soundtrack for spring, and it can mend the brokenness that comes with moving onto new beginnings.
In this album, Beatty incorporates the usage of strings and instrumental sounds into his craft. It creates this agony and yearning for the past. For example, in the first track, “Ribbons,” there is a short interlude towards the end where he focuses on capturing the emotions of loss through his vocals and orchestral instruments. To me, this adds an extra dimension to how I interpret “Ribbons.”
It is a song about finding love and finding yourself whilst on a journey that involves exploring purpose. In this track, he sings about moving from city to city, and this reveals his struggle to find a direct connection to his future. You might think that this is a song about unrequited love–which is agreeable. However, upon further analysis, you will find that this track opens up more about the emotions Beatty felt as an artist and as an individual who is still learning, growing, and finding his way.
“Ribbons” does not only explore how unknown the future is, but also that when you reminisce, the past can be a beautiful place to visit. And so to introduce the album, Beatty shows this ambiance that allows the audience to ache for their youth, and he lets us know what kind of feelings we should feel throughout the album.
Alongside longing for what used to be, Beatty does an exceptional job at being vulnerable in his music. In this album, he plays with the idea of showing the deepest parts of your heart even if it means you will get hurt. He shows this in track two, “Bruises Off the Peach,” and three, “Cinnamon Bread.”
These two songs portray familiar feelings of feeling so close to someone and allowing yourself to visualize how much potential they have to give you everything you want. However, the reality is that giving yourself away completely is not always the best way to love others.
In “Bruises Off the Peach,” Beatty sings about being the one to carry his lover’s burdens even if he is not quite equipped to do so. The lyrics state, “I cut all the bruises off the peach/not as beautiful, but still as sweet/there you go again with all your needs.” This displays the pain of trying to meet the other person’s needs but always failing to fully meet their expectations. Again, this concept is shown similarly in “Cinnamon Bread” as well.
My personal interpretation of this track is that it reveals how vulnerable you can be when the other person knows your intentions. This song portrays the casualty of a fluttering relationship with a fun person who you can feel easy with. However, it doesn’t end well because with casualty, comes the expense of not being exclusive. Just like simple cinnamon bread on a kitchen table that everyone can see and take a bite of, this song perfectly describes the heartbreak of loving someone who cannot fully love you back due to their extroverted and casual nature. There are so many ways to feel about how Beatty fleshes out the vulnerable parts of himself, and he does it through storytelling and poetry.
Throughout this album, we are constantly met with the theme of transitioning from the old to the new. Beatty reveals this emotional idea that the beginning can end, and the end can also have a beginning. It shows the notion that all parts of life can be viewed from a different perspective and respected for its intentional purpose–the purpose to teach you how to love, forgive, and grow. He shows this theme the most toward the last half of the album in his tracks, “White Teeth,” “Multiple Endings,” and “Little Faith.”
In “White Teeth,” listeners can truly feel what it means to innocently experience loss and love, and to learn to move on from it with a heart full of forgiveness. It fully encompasses the true beauty of spring, which is the season to start fresh and bloom the flowers that have been budding all season long. Again, we are met with memories from the past in Beatty’s track, “Multiple Endings.” This song is a reminder that even when we transition to a new place and no longer feel like the old version we once were, we can still allow ourselves to feel the heartache we once felt. Because, quite frankly, all old versions of you are still you, and it is completely valid to comfort those versions every once in a while.
Beatty sings about the melancholiness of an unreciprocated relationship, and it is a great reminder that love for the self also comes from pain done to the self. Additionally, Beatty’s last track of the album, “Little Faith,” truly closes off this album with a bittersweet anticipation of better days. His lyrics indicate the hopelessness of having very little to no faith left of feeling better. However, the melody of the track begs to differ and ignites this spark that maybe there is still something left to hold onto. Transitional moments in life are a beautiful part of self awareness as an individual, and Beatty utilizes this to sweetly end the album.
Calico by Ryan Beatty is not just an album for listening, it is also the soundtrack to those moments in your life where you feel that fluttering “Yes!” It is also the antidote to softening a shattered heart that was too vulnerable and naive. Calico completely encompasses the feelings of spring and the practice of inviting newness into your life. It allows listeners to reflect about their youth and realize how easy it actually is to forgive old mistakes.
After listening to it, my life has gained more meaning and there has been more appreciation toward those moments where I felt hurt or accidentally vulnerable. It teaches the concept of loving those parts of yourself that can sometimes be too much. This album teaches you to love those moments and to forgive, grow, and continue to love again by choosing the loveable parts of yourself even when those parts have evolved into something extremely little. It reveals the hopeful suggestion that in life, there will always be a space to continually grow and transition from one moment to another. Again, it is the perfect soundtrack to starting a season of change, growth, and new love, whether it be for the self or with others.
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